“Ignorance is bliss.” This is a phrase I am just now beginning to understand as I enter my young adulthood as a Black woman. As children, we are all ignorant to the many harsh realities of the world, and as we are introduced to these realities, these experiences shape who we are. Intersectionality is a critical social theory that was conceptualized by Kimberlé Crenshaw in the late 80s and early 90s; this theory asserts that systems of oppression do not act alone, instead, they act together simultaneously, such as racism and sexism. So, as a young Black woman, I experience both racism and sexism together everyday. However, children usually are not aware of their intersectional identities until society eventually makes them aware.

I find this is why society describes the childhood experience as carefree. A child’s “ignorance” to their intersectional identity allows for them to live in “bliss,” as they are unaware of how their identity contributes to how they are treated by their peers, and the rest of society. As I grow older, I realize that I, similarly to many Black women and girls, was unfortunately stripped of my blissful living at an earlier age than others as a result of simply being a Black girl.

By this, I mean I was made to be extremely aware of my identity at a very young age, because of how society treats Black women. The first time I was made aware of my Black girlhood was when I was around ten years old, and I was told by my mother that bodycon dresses “weren’t for me.” At ten years old, I was no more than 4’11 and 90 lbs, with crooked teeth and a squeaky voice, and not to mention, again, a child. I didn’t understand why the dresses weren’t for me, but the other girls in my all girls school were allowed to wear them. 

It was at that moment, that I was forced to realize that like many other Black girls my age, I developed my curves early. And even with my underdeveloped face, voice, height, and weight, my developed “assets” meant I was more prone to an adult man’s comment and glance on the street. However, because society had long ago concluded “boys will be boys,” my ten year old self, simply had to find a different outfit. At first I was upset with my mother. But it took me a while to realize that my mother was not to blame. She did not create this world, she was simply doing her best to protect me from the dangers of it. And after all, my mother is also a Black woman, meaning she’s had first hand experience with the oppressions she’s tried so desperately to shield me from. 

However, sexual harassment happens to all women regardless of their race. The difference is how society reacts. The young Black girl being catcalled is labeled as “asking for it,” while society sympathizes with white women. It was, to say the least, a slap in the face when I grew older and began to learn about cases like Emmet Till and The Central Park Five. These are two cases where Black boys suffered consequences after being falsely accused of sexual harassment and assault by white women. They’re horrific constant reminders of how society fails not only Black men but also Black women. Within these two cases five young Black boys had their freedom taken away, and one his life, because of false allegations from white women. In hindsight, it seems nice that American society would fight so hard for women’s justice, however a broken system will always reveal its truths.

These boys were only targeted because of the color of their skin and not because America cares for women’s justice. I, as a Black girl, even at ten years old and still today, am forced to change my wardrobe first, in order to feel protected in the presence of men because even though I am a woman I do not have white privilege, and unfortunately America has proved in numerous ways, it will not fight for myself and other Black women, as it undeservingly did for Carolyn Bryant Donham and Trisha Meili, the white women who falsely accused The Central Park Five and Emmet Till of assaulting and harassing them.

It is important to understand the relationship that Black women have with white women, white men, other Black women, and Black men. Understanding the dynamic of each of these relationships, will allow society to take the proper steps moving forward in order to use the “master’s tools” to dismantle the master’s oppressive system. 

The White Woman

Black feminist Audre Lorde writes in an essay titles “Age, Race, Class, and Sex” in Sister Outsider: “As white women ignore their built-in privilege of whiteness and define woman in terms of their own experience alone, then women of Color become ‘other,’ the outsider whose experience and tradition is to ‘alien’ to understand.”

Black women are faced with racial discriminations daily, which is not an obstacle for white women. For example, when my white male peer holds a door for a group of white girls, and lets the door close when it’s my turn to walk through, my white women peers are able to see this as a simple mistake made by a male peer. However, when it happens so often and the only distinct difference between the other girls and I is race, as a Black woman, I have no choice but to question if my blackness is what denies me the nice gesture of having a door held open for me. These are not the worries of a woman with white privilege. 

This is a small example of a constant experience at my PWI (predominantly white institution) high school, but similar examples happen on a much larger scale. 

Lorde goes on to write, “To allow women of color to step out of stereotypes is too guilt provoking, for it threatens the complacency of those women who view oppression only in terms of sex.” In order to build a successful inclusive feminist movement, white women must acknowledge the differences between themselves, and other women who experience oppression due to the marginalization of other sectors of their identity. 

This will mean white women will have to acknowledge their contributions to other oppressive structures like race, class, sexuality, religion, etc and while self-reflection may be a hard process to undergo, it is imperative that these steps are taken to further the movement for all women’s equality. 

The Black Woman

However, there are also issues within the Black community that set society further away from the gates of equality. Unfortunately many Black women, myself included, have made the mistake of holding themselves and each other to unrealistic standards, in an attempt to align with Eurocentric culture. During my sophomore year of high school, I found myself trying to adapt to a trending “clean girl aesthetic.” Only I realized, while trying to adjust to what I didn’t realize was a very discriminatory “aesthetic,” I subconsciously dropped all physical aspects of my Black identity besides my skin tone and features. 

My hair went from constantly braided to constantly straight. I stopped wearing long acrylic nails because even though it was trendy for my white peers, for me I felt it added to the “flashy” stereotype society places on Black women. At some point I realized that while setting these unattainable standards for myself, I began to subconsciously place stereotypes on other Black women who didn’t align with these same Eurocentric standards. 

Once I realized I was engaging in the marginalization of Black women, I went through a process of deep self-reflection to understand the root of this internalized racism. I realized that while attending a predominantly white high school, it was very easy for me to fall susceptible to the European standards and forget the beauty and greatness of my own culture. However, I realized that in predominantly white spaces, it is even more important to represent my culture not only to educate others about it, but to also break the stereotypes surrounding it, such as the “angry Black woman.”

The Black Man

While Black women do take a role in targeting each other, Black men have also largely contributed to the exploitation of Black women. I’ve witnessed many Black men resort to colorism, or what is known as preferring lighter skinned people, in an attempt to cure their insecurities. I have personally heard and witnessed many Black men express their preferences for lighter skinned women. Or how they do not prefer women with “nappy” hair. In my experience as a dark-skinned woman, I find that I am more often approached by men in general when my appearance does not reflect my culture. For example, the amount of sexual harassment I endure on the street tends to change depending on my hairstyle. I notice that when my hair is straight, men acknowledge me more because I’m one step closer to the Eurocentric beauty standard. 

The Combahee River Collective’s “Black Feminist Statement” from 1977 states: “The reaction of Black men to feminism has been notoriously negative. They are, of course, even more threatened than Black women by the possibility that Black feminists might organize around our own needs. They realize that they might not only lose valuable and hard-working allies in their struggles but that they might also be forced to change their habitually sexist ways of interacting with and oppressing Black women.” Because of the emasculinization of Black men that slavery has caused, many Black men try to express their masculinity by taking a protective role over women. 

Many look for racial and masculine acceptance in white women or women who mimic the white woman standard (light skinned/biracial women, etc). However, these are unreachable standards that Black men set for Black women, as they are not and never will be white women. Black men must acknowledge the sexism and internalized racism they consciously or subconsciously target towards Black women.

The White Man

It is very easy to address the negative relationship between white men and Black women. A white man is not disadvantaged in society, in fact they dominate society, as they are both male and white. White men generally do not face any challenges related to their identities, and therefore many are not concerned with acknowledging the experience of groups they do not share any kind of intersectional lens with.

While there have been movements made that cater to the oppression of Black people, and others to the oppression of women, Black feminist Kimberlé Crenshaw makes an important point in “Demarginalizing the Intersection of Race and Sex: A Black Feminist Critique of Antidiscrimination Doctrine, Feminist Theory and Antiracist Politic,” that “it is somewhat ironic that those concerned with alleviating the ills of racism and sexism should adopt such a top-down approach to discrimination. If their efforts instead began with addressing the needs and problems of those who are most disadvantaged and with restructuring and remaking the world where necessary, then others who are singularly disadvantaged would also benefit.”

My Takes

I will never agree with the stereotype that a majority of Black women hold high levels of anger and aggression because thankfully I have had the pleasure of experiencing great amounts of happiness, joy, and love that Black women project into the world. However, in the position of the Black woman in America, there are many things to be angry about. The ways in which white men disregard Black women because to them blackness takes away from womanhood. How white women dismiss Black women’s experiences when they focus on promoting a feminist movement only driven by the white woman experience. Or the ways that members of the Black community hold Black women to unreachable standards influenced by European culture.

Audre Lorde writes in Sister Outsider, in an essay titled “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action”: “For to survive in the mouth of this dragon we call america, we have had to learn this first and most vital lesson – that we were never meant to survive.” With realizing this, I am left with the question of what America has done to support Black women with other intersectional identities specifically, but I am still searching for answers.

The feminist movement is a battle that all women have to fight for, and in order to fight this fight correctly, we must look to the women who endure several intersectional layers of oppression, Black women being an example of just one form of intersectionality. But first American society, the Black community included, must acknowledge Black women’s experiences and their contributions to these experiences. For Black women specifically, America must acknowledge all the credible reasons Black women have been given to be wrongly labeled as “angry.”